I am in so much pain today. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a couple of years ago. I didn't believe the doctors when they said that, but we ran so many tests and fortunately (yet unfortunately) nothing else showed up. The pain hasn't gone away so I guess the doctors must have been right.
Today the pain is in my neck and down into my shoulders and then into my elbows. Feels like I should be able to massage it out or crack my neck and make it go away, but nope, neither works. The pain remains.
I've never said anything to my co-workers or my employer about the diagnosis. I don't want them to think I'm using it as an excuse to get out of doing something. I do my work, but some days it takes me longer.
My family knows, but I rarely mention the pain to any of them except my husband. It is hard for someone who doesn't have chronic pain to understand what it is like to live with it. Sometimes I want to say "I hurt. Leave me alone." but I can't. Sometimes I think if I just say I hurt that maybe the pain will realize I acknowledge it and go away. Wishful thinking, I know.
I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself today because I'm in pain. Most days the pain is there but I somehow ignore it and go on with my life. Today, I'm struggling. I'll be better tomorrow . . . that's my promise.
1 comment:
Hugs girl.
It is a very very very hard diagnosis to come to terms with.
If you ever wanna talk let me know.
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